Carousels In The Sky
by Merlana
Summary: AU - The sudden death of Kagome's boyfriend leaves her completely grief-stricken. The grief soon turns self-destructive and she is sent to live at Ashikado Academy where she meets three people who will have the power to change her live.
1. Default Chapter

Kagome pulled her black sweater over her head and stood in front of the full-length mirror in her room. Her tank-top-covered torso was stick thin and she looked positively emaciated. The hip-huggers she was wearing barely clung to her body. The belt she had on was done up almost twice around. The past few months were all a blur, from the moment he'd disappeared to the day they'd found his body, Kagome hadn't been able to eat or sleep. Hey boyfriend, Jared, kidnapped on his way home from school, then brutally ed in his own neighborhood. They'd found him, or the pieces of him, in his own backyard. Kagome looked into the mirror and watched the tears fall down her face.

"Jared," Kagome whispered, running a hand along the picture of him stuck in the mirrors frame. She looked at the thin red lines that ran along her ivory wrists. The angry red scars were meant to remember Jared by, but Kagome had begun to cut deeper than she should have, and one night, last week, she'd ended up in the psyche ward of the local hospital on watch.

"Kagome?" her mother's voice floated up the hall to Kagome's room.

"Yes Mom?" Kagome replied, her voice dull and lifeless, like her eyes. The eyes that Jared had loved, and always said that reminded him of chocolate truffles. Right now, they were doll-like and expressionless.

"Could you come down here?" her mother called and Kagome sighed. She pulled her sweater back over her head. She walked down the stairs and into the living room where her mother was pacing in front of the couch.

"What's wrong Mom?" Kagome asked, sitting down on the couch.

"This is going to sound harsh Kagome, but your counselor and I talked about this for a long time," Kagome's mother said gently, coming to sit beside her daughter.

"Where are you sending me?" Kagome asked defensively.

"We aren't sending you anywhere, we're asking you to go to Ashikado Academy on Hokkaido Island," Kagome's mother said. Kagome shot up off the couch.

"You are sending me away! Why? Do you think I can't deal with this here?" Kagome yelled. She started pacing now, and her previously empty eyes filled with anger.

"Kagome honey, Ashikado is a school where you can heal and get better, it's a school where they help kids who have been bereaved, and they will be able to help you stop hurting Kagome," her mother said. Kagome's eyes filled with tears, and she collapsed to the floor. "Kagome?" her mother asked, worried.

"I-it's just, oh mama, I loved him!" Kagome sobbed. Her mother knelt down beside her and pulled her close.

"I know baby, I know," her mother murmured, "will you do this for me? Go to Ashikado? Please?" her mother pleaded.

"Alright mama," Kagome sighed, "I'll go, but only for one semester," she said firmly. Kagome's mother nodded and hugged her daughter tight.

"I love you Kagome, and the people at Ashikado will help you get better," Kagome nodded to her mother, "but one thing, Kagome, you must promise me that you will write home every week," her mother said sternly. Kagome nodded, and wiped the tears from her face. Kagome hugged her mother back and closed her eyes as she was enveloped in the warmth of her mother's embrace.


	2. Chapter 2

Three weeks later, Kagome awoke to still unfamiliar surroundings. Even though she'd been here for almost a week, it was still strange to wake up looking at a strange ceiling or at the on the bed next to her. Kagome sat up and blinked as the sun streamed through the slat blinds on the only window. Her roommate, Sango, was still asleep, sprawled across the blankets of her bed. Kagome yawned and got out of bed and slowly stumbled toward the bathroom for a hot shower. Kagome turned the water on hot and let the stream pound the back of her neck and her upper back. She rolled her shoulders and reveled in the feel of the hot water. She closed her eyes and thought about the dream she'd had a few weeks earlier.

((Flashback))

"Kag!" Jared called, his voice filled with happiness at her sudden appearance. Kagome looked up into his blue eyes and smiled softly. "How are you ?" he asked, wrapping her in a fierce hug. Kagome snuggled into his chest and breathed in the scent that was so uniquely him. He smelled of cinnamon, cedar and the after-shave he'd used that morning.

"I'm good Jared, and you?" Kagome asked, pulling back a little to see his face. The striking blue eyes that were Kagome's favorite feature looked down on her with a gentle softness about them. He leaned down toward her and closed his eyes. Kagome readied herself for a kiss, and the feel of his soft lips on hers. The kiss never came. Kagome's eyes flew open at a gurgle that sounded from Jared's throat. His eyes and mouth were open in horror and he was staring down a the knife that seemed to be growing from his gut. Kagome screamed and grabbed for the knife to pull it out, but it wouldn't budge. Jared fell to his knees and spat up bright red . Kagome screamed again and fel to her knees beside him.

"Jared! Jared!" she screamed but Jared didn't reply. He never replied. Kagome dissolved into sobs of despair. A cold, cruel laughter rang through her and she looked around blindly to see where it was coming from. There was nothing anywhere around her, just an inky blackness. Kagome screamed again and her eyes flew open.

((End Flashback))

Kagome remembered waking up in her mother's arms, her throat raw from screaming Jared's name. As she stood in the shower, Kagome let fresh, burning tears fall. She leaned against the wall of the shower and looked down at her wrists. The lines had dulled to a purply red colour, but the patterns that swirled along her skin were still plain to the eye. A knock came at the door, bringing Kagome back to the real world. "Just a minute!" she called and heard a muffled response. Kagome hurried through the rest of her morning routine and was out of the bathroom in under ten minutes. She opened the door and was greeted by a sleep rumpled Sango.

"'Morning Kagome," Sango yawned and then headed into the bathroom. Kagome nodded to her and walked back over to her bed. Kagome made up her bed and gathered her books and things together. Regardless of whether this was school for bereaved teens, they still had classes and Kagome was struggling in most of them. She just couldn't seem to concentrate, she always found herself staring at nothing out the window. The teachers were understanding, but they still wanted her to complete assignments and do her homework. Kagome sighed, and brushed a strand of hair out of her eyes.

"C'mon Kagome," Sango called, "we're going to be late for breakfast!" Sango hurried out the door of their room with Kagome close at her heels and they headed down to breakfast.


	3. chapter 3

As Kagome followed Sango down to breakfast, she caught es of conversations that were rife with the newest gossip.

"Did you hear?" His fiancée was murdered," one was whispering. Kagome's heart went out the poor soul, whoever he was.

"They said he went crazy," a boy dressed all in blue was muttering.

"I heard he killed someone," the first boy's friend said. Kagome's head snapped up from it's careful observation of the floor. Her brown eyes grew wide. 'Who is this man?' she wondered, and her mind racing, she didn't notice that Sango had turned a corner and she walked right into a warm, solid bulk. A low rumbling noise met her ears and Kagome stepped back. She looked up and saw that she'd walked into a man, his long white hair falling to his waist and his amber eyes completely devoid of any emotion. Kagome stammered and apology and turned to continue following Sango.

A hush fell over the hall when Kagome realised that she couldn't move. A clawed hand was clamped around her wrist and the empty amber eyes from before were filled with a tragic hope that Kagome couldn't look away from. The dog ears on his head twitched and he opened his mouth to speak.

"Ki-Kikyo?" he asked, his voice incredulous. Kagome took a minute to process the statement and then shook her head.

"No, I'm Kagome," she said firmly. The hand that had her wrist in a grip let go as if it was burned and the amber eyes seemed to almost glaze over. Kagome snatched her wrist back to herself and lowered her eyes. If he'd seen the scars, he hadn't acknowledged them, but Kagome was still wary. He brushed past her without sparing her a glance and Kagome stood stock still as the hall around her returned to life and began whispering and gossiping about this recent development. Her eyes followed his retreating form as he made his way through the hall. When she could no longer see him, Kagome made her way to the cafeteria.

"D'you know that guy?" Sango asked when Kagome arrived, "everyone's saying he called you by another name," Sango said, looking at Kagome intently.

"That's right, he did," Kagome said slowly, her mind was still reeling from the encounter. She shook her head to clear it and said, "he called me Kikyo."

"Who's she?" Sango wondered aloud. Kagome shrugged and picked up her fork.

"Great," she muttered, "porridge again, but today they give us forks." Kagome sighed. Sango smiled and tears began to form in her eyes. Kagome was immediately contrite, although unsur of what she'd done.

"It's okay Kagome, it's just," Sango sighed, "that's something my brother would have said." Kagome nodded and placed a reassuring hand on Sango's shoulder. Sango wiped a tear off her cheek and nodded her head in thanks. The two girls settled into breakfast, a silence dropping over them. The silence wasn't companionable, and it wasn't awkward, it was simply silence.


	4. chapter 4

Kagome managed to make it through the rest of the day without seeing her mystery man and was quite relieved. Her head was still spinning with images of those empty amber eyes locked on hers. Kagome sighed and adjusted the pile of books that she held in her arms as she walked across the commons back to her dorm room. Sango had gone off with one of her other friends and Kagome was feeling rather lonely. She turned a corner and was met with a sight that would remain etched in her memory forever.

It was him. He was standing beneath the cherry tree, his long hair blowing in the breeze and the setting sun behind him lending him a halo that couldn't ever be truly his. The amber eyes were hidden in shadow and his hands were clenched into fists. His silhouetted shoulders shook and a single silver tear slipped down his cheek. Suddenly, he fell to his knees, and hunched over as if he'd been punched in the stomach. Kagome gasped and nearly dropped the pile of books, which would have exposed her. She quickly moved around a large hedge and set them down. She peered around the greenery and watched with large eyes as the scene before her unfolded.

His mouth twisted into a snarl and he slashed at an invisible foe with claws that glinted in the suns dying rays. Kagome was startled at the rage she felt coming off of him in waves and the pure sadness that underscored that. Her mental acuity had always made her vulnerable, but now it was as if she was drowning in the tidal surge of rage. She threw her hands up as if to block the pain but it bowled her over. Kagome landed on her back against the hard ground with the wind knocked out of her. A gust of wind came out of nowhere and it took the remainder of Kagome's breath away. She lay there gasping for precious air, her eyes wide and terrified and her entire body tingling with psychic awareness.

At last, the rage died down, and in its place a numbing sadness grew. Kagome fought to keep the tears from her eyes as she empathetically felt all the sadness that was hidden behind those empty amber eyes. Kagome fought hard against this onslaught and managed to rebuild some of her shattered mental barriers. After a moment, she had most of them rebuilt and her mind was her own again. She made a mental note never to come by the cherry tree at this time again and slowly pulled herself up off the ground. She gathered up her scattered books and stood up. She rounded the hedge and looked back at him. He was sitting cross-legged on the ground with a blank expression on his face and his hands hidden in the long sleeves of his red sweater.

Kagome brushed away a stray tear and she shook herself mentally and physically. Kagome pulled her hair out of it's ponytail and let it fall around her face, framing it with soft layers. "Jesus," she whispered, "why does he keep it all bottled up like that?"


End file.
